I visited my friends near East Grinstead (it was 9th Feb 2006 after the atomic attack on the 6th) when I got their I felt ill and they said a group of people were partying celebration "the return of the aliens" when I fireball crashed out of the sky and vaporised them.
I decided to go home and ordered a taxi but when I got to East Grinstead station I felt so ill that I asked the driver to take me to the local hospital (Royal Victoria) in the town.
They said they had heard an explosion in East Grinstead and that there had been a terrorist attack "was it you?". I wondered what they were talking about.
When I arrived I said "we've been atom bombed and I've been shot and I feel very ill". They said I was too ill to go home and told me to go to the nearest accident and emergency unit at Tonbridge Wells, 16 miles away but there was no ambulance so get a taxi.
I called for one and I did have some money.
He took an age to come and then took me the very long drive to Tonbridge down country roads, I felt ill and kept fainting, I said "I've been shot and there has been an atomic attack on London".
I was admitted and they kept asking me about the atomic attack and casualties. I said "they were all vaporised the only left piles of clothing so there wont be any, the buildings are undamaged".
So they asked me to put on a gown and examined me, they said the radiation burn (I was abnormally sun tanned) was mild. Then this nurse said "this man has died".
Yakub (the Egyptian transplant surgeon) who was lecturing next door decided to try his latest techniques on me and I was asked to sign, he said if not it would be my death certificate instead. I was too weak to move so they lifted my arm and I squiggled my hand.
He showed me a collection of five hearts in vacuum flasks and asked me to select one. I asked for the one with the long tubes, I believe it was already 25 years old.
I felt a sharp pain as the knife cut into my chest.
He must have woken me during the operation to ask if I'd like a new face, I said no as "no one would recognise me". I could not speak he said it was because I had no chest.
I woke up and this beautiful angel said "your heart transplant was successful you are immunised against your new heart, and oh we put in new lungs as well, if you have any trouble call us at papworth".
Another beautiful angel with dark hair came in and said "is this the bloke I saw opened up" the other blood beautiful angel said "yes the life processes are becoming normal". "What do you want" the dark haired angel said "sex please" I said so we spent a few happy minutes together. The other two angels thought it was funny.
Then one of the beautiful angels said "oh there is a scratch on his chest" I had noticed this line down my front when I woke up. So she said "I'll put some healing cream on it". She took a tube from the shelf and put it on her two fingers and smoothed it down my front and round my neck.
I understand I was glued together with superglue.
After about half an hour I noticed the line had disappeared.
I felt so much better that I got dressed and asked to leave.
Yakub came to see me and gave me a psychiatric interview about the explosions and another doctor there said I needed my brain removed. I disagreed and told him off about murdering the patients.
Then I realised who he was and thanked him for saving my life and asked to go home. He said it was unusual considering what I had but after a few minutes they said I could go. He apologised for cutting my throat. There was some discussion if they should have done in view of the deformity of my face but Yakub knew what it was. (bolt cutter, scissor cut and razor slash)
Catholics kill their sick and disabled and so do a lot of other people.
I caught a taxi outside and went to the London bound station there. I had arrived at the hospital at 11:30, admitted at about 12 and left about 5:30. I was in surgery for about three hours.
Yakub said that he would not charge me because of Islamic law. The other charge was taken by the NHS.
My ticket from East Grinstead was invalid from Tonbridge so I bought a new one and the London bound train came in a few minutes later.
During the train journey home there were fireballs in the sky and huge explosions that threw the train from side to side and people ran up and down the train saying it is the thermonuclear attack and one person said "that must be Chatham" Chatham is a navel base.
I arrived home around 9 pm and just sat down and went to bed.
I found out later I was down as dead.
I do not believe I had a heart transplant but they did say a metal object was removed from my heart it may have been a Russian round or a Chinese rifle round picked up in the 60's, they also found some other bits of metal in me too, shrapnel and pistol rounds lodged in fat, I do not know why I am alive.
Chris.